“Habits” is an acronym that stands for:

• Hanging out with God (October 17) – Spending time with God in prayer, reading the Bible, and listening.
• Accountability (November 7) – Our need for fellowship for the purpose of holding ourselves accountable.
  

  Photo Credit: Donna on Flickr

• Bible memorization (October 31) – Planting the Word in our lives so that we can go to God’s Word in our minds when we are faced with difficult times in life.
• Involvement in church (October 24) – Realizing we are all a part of a community that lives out God’s Story of redemption.
• Tithing (November 14) – Being good stewards of the financial resources God has given us is so important.
• Studying Scripture (November 21) – Digging deeper into Scripture is so important; we don’t want to stay in the “shallow end.”

The best way for you to help your student learn about putting these habits in place is to dialogue about these habits at home and allow them to see you model them as parents. I can only have so much influence when I only have an hour of their time each week! You have so much more potential to have a positive influence on your child!

(H.A.B.I.T.S. is a curriculum we are using from Simply Youth Ministry)

(Photo Credit: Deep Frozen Shutterbug on Flickr)

We live inside the greatest epic in the history of the world:  Jesus Christ, our Risen Savior, was crucified and raised again to life. He continues to live today in and through the Church and God is working to bring all people to salvation. God is on a mission to save the world and we are living in it.

But realizing that we are in the middle of this story is difficult. We spend much more time focusing on what is in front our eyes:  traffic jams, grocery shopping, paying the bills, going to church; and so the invisible reality of God and satan and angels and demons often goes without notice. This is especially true if you’re not looking for it.

As Christians, we can (and should!) create a culture of God-sightings. It may be difficult at first, but we need to learn how to see God despite (and perhaps in) the busyness in our lives. The hope is, with the following suggestions, making dialogue about God more common and ultimately more natural.

1. Write down your God-sightings. Where have you seen God? What has He been doing in the world around you? How might He be inviting you into His Story? You can keep a journal or a list on the fridge.
2. Share you God-sightings with others:  your family, friends, neighbors, church members. The Story is not meant to be lived out in isolation, but in community. Sorry, posting on your Facebook account doesn’t count as sharing with community. If you make it your status, be sure to tell someone else in person.
3. Encourage your community to look for God, too. Simply ask them the same questions you ask yourself (from #1). This will encourage others to share their stories with you, thus broadening both you and your community’s awareness of God.

Are their other ways we can share God’s Story with others? What kinds of questions can we ask to help cultivate this? Please leave your comments below!

When I questioned some of the kids about these wristbands, they replied that they were “supporting breast cancer.” One of the students left her wristband at an event, so I took it and went to the website address that was found on the inside of the band. The organization that produces these wristbands is called Keep A Breast (a play on words:  both “keep a breast” and “keep abreast”). They are a young non-profit with the goal of raising awareness about breast cancer through art and other media.

Subsequently, schools have started banning these wristbands because of the slogan. Some “freedom of speech” controversy has arisen, but as far as I have seen, schools have maintained their right to determine what is appropriate for students to wear or not.

While raising awareness about breast cancer is a good thing, I do not believe that using a sexually suggestive slogan is the right idea (Come on, guys “love boobies” for different reasons than girls).

For Students

At the risk of sounding like a grumpy old adult, here’s my open letter of sorts to students:

If you want to support breast cancer research and prevention, then figure out another way to do it. You don’t need to wear something that is sexually suggestive. Ephesians 5:3 says, “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity.” The call of a Christian is to love and support those who are dealing with real issues like breast cancer, but not to compromise ourselves and let the world dictate how we do this.

If you really want to support breast cancer research, donate directly to those who are doing the research, not a middle-man organization like Keep A Breast that does no research on it’s own. (I emailed Keep A Breast to ask them how much money they actually donate to research. They do not guarantee any of the money that they earn from wristband purchases go toward research, however, they do donate large sums to different places during the year.)

If you really want to get the word out about awareness and prevention, wear a pink ribbon (because it’s a much more recognizable symbol) and educate yourself about breast cancer.

If you’re just wearing it because you think it’s funny to hide sexual innuendo under the guise of “supporting breast cancer,” then you really aren’t supporting breast cancer.

(Photo Credit: Anne Akers)

If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been intentional about referring to the Student Ministry as a “student ministry,” and not a “youth group.”

I avoid the term “youth group” for two reasons:  (1) “Youth” generally has a negative connotation and is not a term widely used outside of churches, leagues, and prisons. Not all good company, and (2) “group” gives off a vibe of being exclusive, like a club, that you either belong or you don’t. (I don’t mind using the term “youth” as an adjective, like “The youth ministry at Shepherd rocks!”, but I avoid using it as a noun, like “How come the youth keep vandalizing the buses?”)

The term “student ministry” is much wider in its meaning and much more intentional about getting across the mission and vision of the ministry. First, the term “students” is much more endearing than “youth.” Second, the word “ministry” suggests that it’s not just ministry TO students, but ministry that is done BY students. Students play an active role in the church now; they are not just the “church of the future.” In that sense, the Student Ministry is not a separate entity, a tumor so to speak, but a vital organ that beats in rhythm with the rest of the church.

I keep seeing more and more news articles cropping up about teens getting in trouble for sending sexually explicit photos via their cell phones. According to CNN, 9 out of 10 parents do not think their kids are sexting but 1 out of 5 teens admit to doing it. Another article reports that 15% of teens have been on the receiving end of sexually charged texts. Let’s take a look at what sexting is and perhaps come up with some ways to deal with it.

Sexting is “the act of sending sexually explicit messages or photos electronically, primarily between cell phones.” -National Crime Prevention Council

I generally see the term referring exclusively to the sending of sexually explicit photos, but the term can be expanded to include sexually charged texts and sending of photos online as well. By the way, I haven’t ever heard kids use this term, but maybe that’s because they don’t want to use the term around me!

What could happen? Once a text or a photo is sent, you lose control over the content. That photo could end up on everyone else’s phone very fast. Those who send photos of themselves could get a bad reputation, or get bullied. One 13-year-old girl committed suicide after a photo of her got out and was bullied because of it. Minors who exchange in sexting can face criminal charges.

(I’m not going to spend any time talking about why I think this is occurring, as my opinion is very speculative and would belong in another post. I’m also not going to spend any time talking about why I think this phenomenon is a problem and goes against much of Scripture.)

Some Thoughts on How to Deal With Sexting

Since I’m not a parent, I’ll be the first one to admit I don’t have much of a right to tell you how to parent. I just have some thoughts about how to deal with sexting. I would love your feedback on these suggestions.

Photo Credit: Laura Smith

When it comes to letting your kid have a cell phone, you could develop an “acceptable use policy” of sorts with your child. Chances are you pay the bills as a parent, so you can easily create a culture where having a cell phone is a privilege, not a right.

This agreement or covenant can include things like:

• Acceptable times to text or call friends (for example, not during school, not after 10 pm)
• No texting anything you wouldn’t want parents to see (you can enforce random checks of phones as a condition of them having the phone)
• If your child is on the receiving end of an explicit text message or photo, have him or her report this to you immediately
• Breaching these rules, depending on the infraction, will get them some sort of punishment (like having phone but only during weekends, or having it taken away all together, for a period of time). Up to you, of course.

The tension between giving your child freedom and keeping them under watch (for their sake) is a tough tension to manage. Each case will be different, but good communication between parent and child always helps.

Please leave a comment, I’m curious…

• What sort of preventative measures do you have in place against sexting? (if any)
• Do you have any other suggestions for how to deal with these issues?
• Have you had to deal with these issues?

Please leave a comment and let me know!

I have two favorite sports:  baseball and Ultimate Frisbee.

I love to watch baseball, especially the Red Sox (I spent most of my childhood about an hour outside of Boston), but I’m not very good at it. I would much rather watch it than play it. But I love to play Ultimate Frisbee. I’m decent at it, and am confident enough in myself to go out and play with a group of strangers. But I would hate to watch it. I would have this urge to go out and play, not just sit on the sidelines.

When it comes to ministry, I don’t want students sitting on the sidelines, watching the “professionals” and adults doing ministry. I want them to have the urge to go out and be a part of the ministry as well.

Ministry belongs to everyone, from little kids to grandparents and everyone in between. The Mission of God calls every believer to serve in some capacity. Some serve vocationally. Some serve as volunteers. Some serve God by serving others outside of church, on their own time in their workplaces or neighborhoods.

So when we do Student Ministry, we are doing ministry with students, not just to them. God is calling everyone to “get in the game” and not simply sit in the stands.

(Photo Credit: Werner Kunz on Flickr)

These goals give the lessons and overarching theme and purpose for the year, and the hope is that these goals will become patterns in the students’ lives and carry them into spiritual adulthood.

The learning goals are as follows:

1. Trust in God.
2. Develop  healthy spiritual habits.
3. Make wise choices.
4. Develop healthy relationships.
5. Serve others.

An example of how these learning goals lend themselves to curriculum is our Sunday School series “Schooled,” which we did in September. The series centered around Galatians 5 and 6, and our main point was “You can’t score extra credit with God,” that His acceptance of you is not contingent upon you, but what He has done for you.

We put these five goals down just to get started, but I will be inviting parents and others to brainstorm what these goals should be for our student ministry in the coming years.

• What kind of learning goals should we have?

In the wake of these suicides, threats of further violence by the Wolf Pack has been widely circulated. One rumor is that every Wednesday another wolfie would take his or her life until they were all gone (This I heard from one of the students, but such a suicide pact is unfounded). Another rumor is that they would bring weapons to school, and subsequently over one thousand kids from O’Connor and Brandeis combined stayed home on Monday.

In the midst of all this, I am reminded of three simple truths that help refocus me on what really matters.

1. God is in control. No matter what happens, no matter how many threats are made, no matter how many people want to enact revenge for whatever reason, God maintains His sovereignty. We may cry out like Habakkuk, “Why do you allow such violence to go on?” (Habakkuk 1:2) but God is faithful.

2. We are all broken people in need of a savior. It may be easy to point fingers at the Wolf Pack and blame them for all of the strife that is going on, but we are all broken people. It is not a matter of “Us v. Them,” but “All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). We are all much more like the Wolf Pack than we care to admit.

3. Jesus calls us to treat people differently than the world treats people. While we may want to condemn the wolfies for whatever reason, perhaps the best thing we can do is try to empathize with them, pray for them (Matthew 5:44), and if given the opportunity, show them God’s love through kind words, service, or friendship.

I’ve been praying a lot lately for our kids’ safety and for the staff of the NISD schools and I invite you to pray with me as we look to God for healing during this time.

(Photo Credit:  Jar0d on Flickr)

I’m in the process of reading a book entitled Almost Christian:  What the Faith of Our Teenagers Is Telling the American Church by Kenda Creasy Dean, a youth ministry professor at Princeton Seminary. The book is her response to the results of the National Study of Youth and Religion, of which she was a researcher.

She begins by explaining that Christianity is being undermined by a bastardized form of faith:

The National Study of Youth and Religion reveals a theological fault line running underneath American churches:  an adherence to a do-good, feel-good spirituality that has little to do with the Triune God of Christian tradition and even less to do with loving Jesus Christ enough to follow him into the world. It is hard to read the data from the NSYR without the impression that many American congregations (not to mention teenagers themselves) are “almost Christian”–but perhaps not fully, at least not in terms of theology or practice.

Almost Christian, pg. 4

She goes on to explain that most teenagers are not hostile to religion. In fact, many of them say it’s a very “nice” thing. The issue is not that teens are hostile to faith; it’s that they are complacent about faith. They have a belief system that fits in nicely with the overarching American narrative of tolerance, but it’s not a faith that calls them to be a unique people. It’s not a faith system that they would die for.

Moralistic Therapeutic Deism

Christian Smith, one of the NSYR’s directors, called this kind of “faith” moralistic therapeutic deism. (I put “faith” in quotes because moralistic therapeutic deism has nothing to do with the Christian understanding of faith.)

Dean lists the following characteristics of moralistic therapeutic deism:

Guiding Beliefs of Moralistic Therapeutic Deism

1. A god exists who created and orders the world and watches over life on earth.
2. God wants people to be good, nice, and fair to each other, as taught by the Bible and by most world religions.
3. The central goal of life is to be happy and to feel good about oneself.
4. God is not involved in my life except when I need God to resolve a problem.
5. Good people go to heaven when they die.

Almost Christian, pg. 14

These tenants present a neutered version of Christianity, where faith is not about following Jesus, where church is one big therapy group that does good things for other people from time to time. This form of spirituality has nothing to do with sin, the cross, or new life in Christ. Moralistic therapeutic deism operates under a completely different set of presuppositions than Christianity:  most people are genuinely good, they just need a guide, and life is all about doing good and helping others and making our world a better place. Sound familiar?

It’s More Than Just Us

The initial results of the NSYR reveal something very peculiar:  most teenagers subscribe to moralistic therapeutic deism, regardless if these teens claim to be Christian or not. And who wouldn’t? It’s a self-serving kind of spirituality, a compromise between churches in America (who try to get people to believe in God) and society (who try to get people to get along). Those who subscribe to moralistic therapeutic deism do not need to risk anything, they do not rub shoulders with others, they can appease both sides.

Obviously, there are exceptions:  young men and women who for whatever reason have the kind of robust faith that understands our need for a Savior and who continue to grow in a relationship with God (we’ll explore those reasons that Dean presents in later posts).

So, What Now?

Dean argues the main reason teenagers believe in this kind of faith is because churches, youth groups, parents, and other religious leaders live out this kind of faith. What I appreciate about Dean, though, is she refuses to point the finger and blame someone for the problem. Instead, she suggests ways that both churches and parents can work together to combat the diseased faith and lead teenagers to discover what she calls “consequential faith.” And perhaps in the process our faith could be strengthened as well. Her approach is practical and theological, not offering ideas that are unrealistic nor ignoring the important role of the Spirit in our lives.

As I continue to read through the book, I will continue to post responses to her suggestions and add my own thoughts as to how these ideas can be put in practice here at Shepherd.

Let me know what you think:  Leave a comment below:

• Where do you see moralistic therapeutic deism in our world?
• Do you agree or disagree with some of Dean’s “Guiding Beliefs”? What would you add? What would you take away?
• What are some ways that churches and parents can team up to combat moralistic therapeutic deism?

(Photo Credit:  Beth Jusino)

The more and more I read about teenage spirituality, the more I am convinced that student ministries and parents, when they team up together, are the best influence on translating our faith to the next generation. And the more I hear about the decrease in church attendance, the more I am convinced that we need to be going after those who are lost, not just relying on “church marketing” to lure people to church.

Another argument for growing and developing these two ministries (family and outreach) is they cover the two main parts of the teenager’s life:  family and school. Family and school continue crowd out the church like basketball players block out their opponents. To some this is discouraging, frustrating, and disheartening. But maybe the solution is to translate our ministries over to where our members are (and potential members are).

Shepherd’s mission is to “multiply places of refuge throughout our world.” What if the home could be a place of refuge? What if the high school campuses could be places of refuge?

Home as a Place of Refuge:  Ministry with Families

I dream of a ministry where the CrossWalk messages and Sunday School curriculum is aligned with tools and resources that families can take home and live the message in real life (while partnering with Faith Filled Families). We would probably begin with the younger kids and work our way up to middle school and high school. I also envision small groups of families who eat and dig into God’s Word together. We could utilize the already existent ChristCare program.

School as a Place of Refuge:  Partner with Campus Ministries

I dream of a ministry where the unreached, the unwelcomed, and the unloved can come and find solace in God’s presence. There are plenty of ministries already reaching into the schools and leading kids to Christ and connecting them with local congregations. Campus Life (Youth For Christ) have strong presence at Marshall High School, for example.

I also learned of an organization called the Pais Project, which is an internship program for people who want to get involved in youth ministry. They just need host churches to host teams. One of their goals is to be a bridge between the school and the church. It would take some dedication and work, but our church could realistically host a team of four by providing them a host home for a year (which covers living expenses) and $10,000 for overhead (like transportation, training, etc.). This would provide Shepherd with four additional staff members who would work to connect unchurched kids with the congregation.

Again, these are only dreams. I need the support of staff, parents, other adults in the congregation, and certainly God’s Spirit to make this a reality. Please pray with me I put these ideas before God and ask for His guidance and direction.

(Photo Credit:  brewbooks and Noize Photography on Flickr)